so what does one do when there you know something may not be your best scenario is something you want for the future? it may not be healthy, but is something you think you want.
what does one do when there's something new and shiny that seem it would be heathly and good and yet still, the unhealthy still pulls at you
what does one do when total messed up from the past freight trains into the present and wants to be part of the future.
I think it's time for a nap.